Committed

I am still sticking with my healthy eating.  God is so good.  Proverbs 16:3 says "Commit to the Lord whatever you do and He will establish your plans."  I even baked dozens of homemade cookies the other night and didn't eat them!  I had a couple on Saturday night after I had walked miles at the air show in Miramar.  I am learning to not treat desserts and sweet treats as an everyday occurrence, but saving them for special times.  The occasional small piece of cake at someones Birthday party, or wedding.  Or for a day like the air show day when I have done so much exercise that a small treat is hard earned.

Reading the book Made to Crave has been life altering for me.  I am seeing this journey as SO much more than just the desire to wear smaller sizes and receive compliments from others.  This struggle is about being right with God, my health and my desire to live a long life bringing Him glory.

I am working on my negative self talk.  I am and have always been my own worst enemy.  I am learning to define myself how God defines me.  I am precious, forgiven, set free, accepted, holy, loved, confident, and victorious.

Whenever I have cravings, I remind myself how strong God is and that I have His power available to me if I ask for it.  God has the power to raise people from the dead, so helping me fight off cravings and dealing with my unhealthy food addictions will be a snap for Him!

I am also reminding myself that God made me for so much more than how I have been living.  I want to live to my full potential in Christ and I refuse to settle for less. 

It's been hard denying myself much of the foods I love.  But I know that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial for me.  So I am making intentional sacrifices to grow closer to God.  Luke 9:23 says, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."  I am making sure that my heart is in the right place.  I am making these sacrifices to honor the Lord.  Having self discipline honors God and helps keep my heart pure to receive what God would have of me.

I am struggling with my time.  I have almost always made time for doing those things I love to do.  I have dedicated just about every Wednesday night to church for the past 10 years.  I love to read and I am almost never without a book or carrying my Nook e-reader.  I have some favorite TV shows I don't like to miss (or DVR) when I have too.  But I haven't been making time for getting on the treadmill or going for a walk or to the gym at work.  I need to evaluate my time and find the time (it's there!) cause I know I watch too much TV and I need to take care of my temple.

1 Corinthians 6:19  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?  You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.  So glorify God in your body.

Romans 12:1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

James 4:7  Submit yourselves therefore to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

James 1:22  But be doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

God Bless!

Accountable to Him

So I’ve been watching what I eat for a few weeks now. I know it hasn’t been all that long, but I feel really good about it. I think the big difference for me is accountability. In the past when I have set out to lose weight I have always sought out accountability partners. Years ago I joined Weight Watchers with two women from church. They both quit after just a short time. Then I did a Stephen Arterburn study with a group of women from church and all of us from that group still struggle with our weight.


I have been reading the book Made To Crave and really applying the lessons in it. I did some thinking about my past weight loss attempts and failures. Accountability kept coming to mind. When I held myself accountable to a group of women, it was too easy to cheat. They weren’t always around, so it was easy to sneak the occasional junk foods into my diet without them knowing. Then it hit me, the only way for me to be truly accountable is to God. He knows my every thought, He sees everything I do, and He knows every morsel that enters this temple He has given me.

That has made this time so different for me. I am not a baby Christian. I have a relationship with the Lord that needs to take priority in my life. I need to put my complete trust in Him. I really don’t want to disappoint Him anymore with how I treat my body.

I have had some rough moments. I bring these small fat free chocolate puddings to work with me because having that little bit of guilt free chocolate help with cravings. On Friday, I forgot to bring one to work. So of course on Friday one of my coworkers found it necessary to shove a cupcake in my face and try to entice me to share one with them. But I won that battle. I did want to punch this person, but I won that battle too and sat on my hands! I also went to dinner with my husband and an old friend and watched the two of them split a piece of red velvet motherlode cake and I didn’t even take a bite. And you know what, I was totally okay with that! Thank you God!

It’s too early to claim victory, but I am feeling really good. I have a verse from Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still”. It’s making me realize that I have been battling for years with my weight. The battle isn’t mine to fight. If I be still and trust that He is God, He will fight those cravings for me. I just need to be still and crave His peace and goodness to fill the spaces that need to be filled in me.

A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins With A Single Step

Search me and know me O God, know my anxious heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24



“With men it is impossible, but to God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26


I am looking down a short path to being 40 (March 23, 2012) and I am tired of looking and feeling like I do. It’s time. Yes, I’ve thought other times were ‘the time’, but this is different. I am finally acknowledging that I have no one to blame for this but myself. Any so called wrongs that have been done to me are well in my past and I have had EVERY opportunity to lay them at the foot of the cross and unburden myself. But I just got too comfortable with carrying that extra weight. I carried around all my past bad choices and stupid mistakes around like a big boulder. The weight continually reminded me of how many times I’ve failed. It’s exhausting carrying it around and then I realized I have the choice to set that boulder down. I don’t have to carry it anymore. So instead of beating myself up again with “How could I have let this happen?” I will be spending time craving God instead. I have discovered that I am physically overweight, but I am spiritually underweight and malnourished.


I just finished reading Sandi Patty’s book “The Edge of the Divine” and a paragraph from her book really stood out to me. “Weight loss is a journey that teaches you to act in a way that confirms what you say your priorities are. Your top priority is to love and serve God. To act on that priority, you need to choose actions that honor and care for the body He has given you, so that you are able to use it in His service. You also need to be healthy so you can use your body to cherish and support the wonderful husband, family and friends God has given you.”


My priorities…well they’ve lately been sitting in front of the TV, cooking good tasting but very unhealthy foods, and spending time on the internet. I’ve said that God comes first in my life, but the choices I make don’t reflect my priorities. I might have said that God was my number one, but my choices show that food has become my Comforter in Chief.


One thought keeps coming to me when I think of Jesus’ death for me. Jesus didn’t go through that ordeal so I could merely survive. He did it so I could have life and have it more abundantly.


I haven’t had much in the way of self esteem for most of my life. This is my own issue. Instead of seeing my worth in Gods eyes and recognizing myself as a child of God, I let the fact that my birth father wouldn’t acknowledge me tarnish my view of myself. “If your own father doesn’t love you, why would any other man?” So I dated like crazy starting in junior high. I tried so hard to stay skinny, because I didn’t see I had worth other than in how I looked. Sad. I went through 2 divorces before I finally realized the man God intended for me all along was there the whole time as one of my best friends.


“My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:7


I am reminded of the story of the rich young ruler in Matthew 19. I want so much to be closer to God. God tells me in order to get closer to Him I need to give up the very things I crave (food) and come follow Him. But He wants me to follow Him with undivided attention. Mark 8:34 says “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”


With Jesus, if I want to gain I need to give up. If I want to be filled I must deny myself. If I want to get closer to God I need to distance myself from other distractions. If I want to conquer my cravings, I need to direct them towards God.


God made us capable of craving so we’d have an unquenchable desire for more of Him and Him alone.

Women of Faith Weekend

My daughter and I attended the Women of Faith conference this weekend at the Honda Center in Anaheim, CA.  Wow!  Each women gave me something to think about and I kind of feel like a bit of a mess.  This is a good thing though! 

I learned from Brenda Warner to live a life with integrity and honor and just be myself.  And to keep focusing on the positive even when life hands you more than you think you can handle.

I learned from Lisa Whelchel that I need to nurture my relationships with other women I know and find someone safe and find a "bestie".  I have lots of female friends, but I wouldn't know who to call to meet me for coffee.  I wouldn't know who to go to when I really needed someone.  I either hold things in until I explode, I talk to my husband, I journal and of course I pray.  But I'd really life to be the kind of friend I want.  The last female best friend I had went and married my ex-husband.  So yeah...

Patsy Clairmont finds the humor in anything even in the midst of horrible circumstances.  She trusts in Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, the sweetest name she knows.

Marilyn Meburg is just one feisty older woman and I hope I am half as strong and graceful as she is when I reach her age.

Sandi Patty really spoke to my heart too.  She has struggled with her weight for years.  Her doctor told her she was cheating her family of years of life with her if she continued on the path she was on.  I don't want Allyson to have to bury me for many many years.

So I have work to do.  I have lots of books to read that I got from each of these speakers.  Lots of prayer and honest self reflection. 

Amy Grant and Mandisa sang and both sang meaningful songs to me.  Mandisa sang "Shackles" and I forget many a time that God has freed me from shackles.  The shackles I wear now are my own and I need to remove them.  Amy Grant sang "Better Than A Hallelujah" which I love.  I know God loves to hear our praise as well as our prayers, but I know God has got to rejoice when we honestly just cry out from our soul to Him. 

Lots to Catch Up On!

Wow, I know I had a busy summer, but I just noticed that I haven't posted since May. In June, Jamey & I went on an Alaskan cruise and had a wonderful time. I will post some pics later, maybe tonight. It was my first cruise and I loved each & every minute of the trip. We flew up to Seattle, WA and had gorgeous blue skies. We had a day and a half at sea. Standing on the deck and seeing nothing but ocean surrounding you is so humbling. I recommend a cruise to everyone. These cruise ships are HUGE, but when you are surrounded by nothing but water, it makes you realize how small you are and just how BIG our God is. Our first port was Juneau, Alaska and again, beautiful weather which is very rare for Juneau. We toured the town, went 2000+ feet up the side of Mt. Roberts in a cable tram car and toured an abandoned gold mine. Our next port was Skagway and we toured the town and took an old train up into the Canadian Yukon. It was gorgeous. I spent the whole train ride out on the little balcony of our traincar. I took thousands of pictures of the scenery. We then sailed down the Tracy Arm Fjord and had spectacular views of the Sawyer Glacier. Our Captain told us in all his years of doing that particular cruise, he was never able to get so close to the glacier and have such cooperative weather. It was COLD, but clear. There were mini icebergs floating all around is with momma seals and their babies (some giving birth!!!) and we saw fledgling eagles. Some of the ice was melting so there were waterfalls all over the cliff faces. A big hunk of the glacier calved while we were there and the ice behind it was the most incredible blue you've ever seen. Our final port was Victoria, British Columbia. I didn't know what to expect of Canada, but I loved it. Such a great town, nice people, and so scenic. We did a tour and saw Tom Selleck's house (not too shabby!), we saw a nesting bald eagle, toured the Empress Hotel which is beautiful and also toured Craigdarroch Castle. I wanted to move there until our bus driver told us very matter of factly how it costs more than half what you make to live there in taxes, etc. No thanks, it's expensive enough here.. After coming home from Canada, I came down with bronchitis and was sick for a week from work, but the coughing didn't stop for a good month. I hate bronchitis! Inn July I went to summer camp with my 3rd through 6th graders from church. Jim couldn't come this year, so Matt & Eric came along as the two male leaders. They were excellent. Allyson came with me for the first time as a co-leader and she was such a blessing. Yes, we butted heads a few times, but we both brought out the best in each other too. Allyson led the girls in a great devotional one of the nights that had the girls crying & laughing over Psalm 139. She took hundreds of amazing pictures I will cherish from our week. She is so talented with her picture taking. But my body betrayed me when I got home from camp. It seems my immune system took a dive after the bronchitis, so in its weakened state, I caught a horrible staph infection from camp. I woke up the day after coming home covered in red spots. I thought it was hives, then possibly chicken pox, nope...staph. NO FUN AT ALL!!!! I praise the Lord I have a great boss and a job where I earn a ton of leave because between my cruise, camp and being sick, I took over a month of leave! So most of August has been focused on resting and recuperating. I finally feel normal again, well not that I have ever been normal :)

Author I Discovered & LOVE!!!

I got a Nook Color for Christmas, and I am pretty much NEVER without it. I take it to & from work daily and I simply devour books even more than I did before I had it. I LOVE reading, but even buying books from the Friends of the Library store and Goodwill can be expensive when you can easily read a book in a day like I do. So I love finding sites with free book downloads. I discovered this author Heather Huffman and 4 free downloads she has. I read them all this week and I was always a little sad at the end. She writes in such a way that you really get to know the characters and you don't want their story to end. I WANT SEQUELS!!! I want to know more about their happy endings. She doesn't charge for the books because she hopes to encourage her readers to donate to causes she believes in like World Vision. I was more than happy to donate, because I too am a big fan of World Vision and the work they accomplish. So, if anyone reading this downloads one or all of her books, let me know what you think.

135 Photo Challenge

My husband and I recently bought a really nice Nikon D3100 and we are having fun with it. I've noticed all these photo challenges on Facebook and I compiled a list of 135 photo challenges I want to complete within a year from today.

1 A day your remember really well
2 A gift from a friend
3 A gift from your family
4 A hobby of yours
5 A letter to an old Crush
6 A magazine you like
7 A photo of your night
8 A photo of your parent(s)
9 A photo that best demonstrates the word “Abundance”
10 A photo that makes you happy
11 A photo that makes you sad
12 A picture in your room
13 A picture of a favorite memory
14 A picture of a most treasured item
15 A picture of a random item that you own
16 A picture of someone who inspires you
17 A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
18 A picture of someone you miss
19 A picture of someone you would like to trade places with for a day
20 A picture of something that's made a huge impact on your life recently
21 A picture of something you love
22 A picture of something you want to do before you die
23 A picture of something you wish you could change
24 A picture of something you wish you could forget
25 A picture of something you wish you were better at
26 A picture of something you're afraid of
27 A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
28 A picture of the 5 things you would bring if you were stranded on a deserted island
29 A picture of the best moment of your life
30 A picture of the cast of the cast of your favorite show
31 A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
32 A picture of the person you do the most crazy things with
33 A picture of what you wished your room looked like
34 A picture of what you'll be doing tomorrow
35 A picture of where you wish you were right now
36 A picture of the person you have been closest with the longest
37 A picture of you and your best friend
38 A picture of you doing something you love
39 A picture of your ‘other half'
40 A picture of your biggest insecurity
41 A picture of your cell phone
42 A picture of your dream car
43 A picture of your dream house
44 A picture of your favorite band or artist
45 A picture of your favorite cartoon character
46 A picture of your favorite Disney character
47 A picture of your favorite holiday
48 A picture of your favorite piece of jewelry
49 A picture of your favorite sport or favorite athlete
50 A picture of your favorite state
51 A picture of yourself and a family member
52 A picture of yourself from middle school
53 A picture of yourself from years ago
54 A picture that makes you laugh
55 A place that makes you happy
56 A place where you spend a lot of time
57 A place you went today
58 A pretty flower (yes go take a picture of a flower)
59 A prized possession
60 A room in your house
61 A school picture
62 A stuffed animal
63 A talent of yours
64 A ticket from somewhere you've been
65 A useless trinket you own
66 An embarrassing picture from your childhood
67 Dream job
68 Everything inside your purse/backpack/wallet
69 Favorite board game
70 Favorite book that you own
71 Favorite CD that you own
72 Favorite childhood book
73 Favorite movie that you own
74 Favorite One Hit Wonder Song
75 Favorite Places to shop
76 Favorite purchase ever made
77 Last movie you watched
78 Last place you traveled to
79 Provide pictures of your celebrity crushes
80 Share your favorite recipe
81 Someone in your family
82 Someone that changed your life
83 Something Blue
84 Something Green
85 Something heart shaped
86 Something passed down from your parents/grandparents
87 Something Pink
88 Something Purple
89 Something Red
90 Something that annoys you
91 Something that fascinates you and why
92 Something that made you smile today
93 Something that makes you feel accomplished
94 Something weird in your house
95 Something Yellow
96 Something you baked
97 Something you borrowed from someone else
98 Something you collect
99 Something you did today
100 Something you drew
101 Something you found under your bed
102 Something you hold dear to your heart
103 Something You love
104 Something you made
105 Something you really dislike
106 Something your mom bought you
107 The last restaurant you ate at
108 The last thing that you bought
109 The moon tonight
110 The most embarrassing thing in your closet
111 The shirt you wore today
112 The shoes you wore today
113 The view from your bedroom window
114 The weather outside
115 What you're craving right now
116 What you're wearing today
117 Whatever tickles your fancy
118 What's in your fridge?
119 You and a friend
120 Your breakfast
121 Your childhood home
122 Your favorite animal
123 Your favorite book
124 Your favorite childhood movie
125 Your favorite food
126 Your favorite nail polish color
127 Your favorite outfit
128 Your favorite picture
129 Your favorite quote, in your handwriting
130 Your favorite television program
131 Your guilty pleasure
132 Your least favorite chore
133 Your lunch
134 Your most used electronic device
135 Your sunglasses

You have however long it takes you to complete this list. Create a photo folder on Facebook and have fun. Post in whatever order you want, just be sure to label the pictures.