So I’ve been watching what I eat for a few weeks now. I know it hasn’t been all that long, but I feel really good about it. I think the big difference for me is accountability. In the past when I have set out to lose weight I have always sought out accountability partners. Years ago I joined Weight Watchers with two women from church. They both quit after just a short time. Then I did a Stephen Arterburn study with a group of women from church and all of us from that group still struggle with our weight.
I have been reading the book Made To Crave and really applying the lessons in it. I did some thinking about my past weight loss attempts and failures. Accountability kept coming to mind. When I held myself accountable to a group of women, it was too easy to cheat. They weren’t always around, so it was easy to sneak the occasional junk foods into my diet without them knowing. Then it hit me, the only way for me to be truly accountable is to God. He knows my every thought, He sees everything I do, and He knows every morsel that enters this temple He has given me.
That has made this time so different for me. I am not a baby Christian. I have a relationship with the Lord that needs to take priority in my life. I need to put my complete trust in Him. I really don’t want to disappoint Him anymore with how I treat my body.
I have had some rough moments. I bring these small fat free chocolate puddings to work with me because having that little bit of guilt free chocolate help with cravings. On Friday, I forgot to bring one to work. So of course on Friday one of my coworkers found it necessary to shove a cupcake in my face and try to entice me to share one with them. But I won that battle. I did want to punch this person, but I won that battle too and sat on my hands! I also went to dinner with my husband and an old friend and watched the two of them split a piece of red velvet motherlode cake and I didn’t even take a bite. And you know what, I was totally okay with that! Thank you God!
It’s too early to claim victory, but I am feeling really good. I have a verse from Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still”. It’s making me realize that I have been battling for years with my weight. The battle isn’t mine to fight. If I be still and trust that He is God, He will fight those cravings for me. I just need to be still and crave His peace and goodness to fill the spaces that need to be filled in me.