Friday, September 17, 2010

Connection Has Been Made

I have struggled with my weight for years. I am ashamed to say I have gained 70 pounds in the last 8 years. I know my exact weight from my wedding day and I realize I have gained just under 10 lbs. per year of my marriage. That works out to less than a pound a month, so I see how it just crept up. My husband loves fried food, burgers and pizza. So to accomodate his likes, I have changed my habits to his bad ones and I have eaten horribly since we got married. But you know what, I can't blame him. I am an adult and I made poor choices to get to where I am. I have to take ownership of my situation and resolve to do something about it.

I have been desiring to finally get serious about losing weight for the last month or so. I am just kind of disgusted with myself (but in a good way). Is there a good way of being disgusted with yourself? Hmm. I have always wanted some quick fix. I have bought diet pills, shakes, etc. I definitely don't EVER want to get a gastric bypass, but I really was mad that Kaiser Permanente won't cover the costs for a Lap Band. But you know what? I don't want the Lap Band. I don't want surgery. I don't want to have some foreign object stuck in my body, possible complications, constant maintenance, etc. I don't want to not be able to enjoy an actual meal with my husband or my family at the Holidays. I don't want to have to permanently eliminate foods from my diet.

Anyways, I have really felt God pushing me to think of the real reasons I have gained so much weight. There is no magic pill. I need to pray and seek Gods help in helping me to let go of all the shame, guilt & issues I have. I have to actually give it all to Him. That right there is a big weight I carry around that is SO unneccesary.

I attended the Women of Faith conference last weekend in Anaheim, CA. Many of the speakers really got to me. God spoke through them and I finally heard and made the connection. I need to completely trust in God and let go of my will. I keep thinking "...some day" "I'll start later", etc. But nothing is guaranteed. So I started! No more excuses. I even was able to make an appointment first thing Monday morning for lab work. I fasted Sunday night and went in to the docs first thing on Monday and I am so happy that my cholesterol and glucose are GREAT! That was a burden removed. Now I know that my weight loss efforts are going to make my numbers even better. I haven't done major damage yet.

I have already lost 6 lbs. this week! I know it won't keep coming off that fast, but it is a very encouraging start. My goal is to be fit & fabulous by 40. I have 553 days until I am 40. That's a lot of time to make it happen. No excuses!

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

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