Pulling Teeth...

Could I get some help? When I ask this of my class of 3rd thru 6th graders at AWANA, every hand raises before I even say what I need help with. But when we stand at the pulpit and ask for help from the congregation…not near so many hands are raised. Sometimes it feels like pulling teeth to get people to help out.

I know we all have other things going on in our life. I don’t expect people to basically live at the church because we are volunteering for every project under the sun. I just wish people would be obedient when they feel that nudge to volunteer when a new project comes along. I truly believe God wants us to accomplish certain things at church and in our community, and if God wants those things accomplished, He is calling people to do it. But too many people think “I do enough, let someone else, I volunteered for something a while back so I’m good now, etc. etc.” And then they don’t step up. Or you have people who step up begrudgingly and have bad attitudes the whole time.

Romans 12:4-8 says “For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.”

We all have been given areas of giftedness by God and we all need to find ways to serve. I recently did all the crafts for VBS, my 18 year old daughter served as the VBS Director and we had teens from 7th thru college age helping serve as leaders and guides. I was able to have the assistance of 2 older women from the church, a married couple currently unemployed, a single Mom and 2 sets of siblings helping me out in crafts. It was wonderful to have a variety of ages and abilities helping me. The kids at VBS all benefited from our range of experience.

I love serving the Lord. I have known exhaustion from it, but I also know the joy in it. This past few weeks were crazy. I was literally at the church EVERY day for 10 straight days decorating for VBS, running crafts for VBS for a week, decorating & building our churches 4th of July Parade float, taking down decorations, worship services, etc. So now I am taking a little well deserved time off. But I will begin preparing new lessons, craft ideas and service projects for AWANA when we begin again in the fall. I know God has given me gifts and I follow 1 Peter 4:10 “As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”

No job is too big or too small if you have been called by God to accomplish it. I am not above sweeping & mopping up a dirty floor, unclogging a toilet, cooking food for a crowd and then doing all the dishes, etc. Romans 12:3 says “…do not think of yourself more highly than you ought”. Any job is worth doing when you are serving the Lord. Autograph your work with excellence.

Husband Bashing

Why is it so acceptable & seen as amusing to bash husbands? When I log into Facebook I sometimes read posts from people bashing their husbands. Wow! You really want to put that out into the world? You really want people to read your dirty laundry and destroy any witness you have by constantly criticizing & belittling your spouse and telling anyone who can see it "I hate my husband!"

I sent a private message to a friend letting them know "How would you feel if he were posting this about you?" and the response I got was "He doesn't have a facebook". Oh...so that makes it okay? Hmmm...

But the problem is much deeper. Look at just about any prime time comedy on TV these days and think of the Dad. Just about all of them are portrayed as bumbling idiots. Why is that? Because I can tell you that the majority of married men I know are loving, engaged, capable fathers and loving husbands.

I LOVE my husband and I ADORE my Dad. Both have their silly/goofy side, but that is just a small portion of the men that they are. They are intelligent, insightful, godly, caring, thoughtful, capable, and so much more.

When we get married, two become one. My husband is flesh of my flesh & bone of my bone. Bashing him is bashing myself. God called me to be his partner and to be a loving helpmate. That is what I will continue to do. And while he may occasionally drive me a little nuts, I know he puts up with a lot from me too. I cannot imagine my life without him, I don't want to.

What Legacy Will You Leave

I received e-mails last week from my birth father. It was the first time in my 38 years that I have ever had contact with him of any kind. I was able to have some questions answered that have always bothered me. He gave me some answers, some very lame excuses, and not a real apology because it was one of those “I’m sorry you feel that way”. That doesn’t really quite count. But what he did give me was profound. I didn’t realize just how big a monkey on my back it was never having any contact with him. So even though I was left feeling mostly pity for him, a huge weight is gone. Initially I was very angry, but now I truly think I am good with it. As silly as it may seem, I have always longed just for him to acknowledge my existence, and he did that. I will pray for him because I found out he is the Pastor of a Church of Christ church and he will have to answer to God for the choices he has made in his past and his lack of repentance. But I am over my anger. I have NEVER desired to have him be a part of my life, because I have a Dad. My step-Dad has never been considered a step-Dad to me, he is my DAD!!! He’s always been there for me to give me wise godly counsel, taken care of me always as if I was his own flesh and blood, and loved me enough to hold me accountable when I have screwed up. And my Dad is also an excellent Papa to my daughter Allyson.

Maybe it’s because I never knew my birth father that I have always made it a priority to make sure I am very present in my daughter’s life. I have been very active in activities she has been involved in. I wanted her to know that I value her and that I give her my love, time and energy. So I have helped with school field trips, walked Jog-a-thons, been a team Mom for sports teams, been on the boards for swim team and choir, taught VBS, thrown parties, raised money for trips, pulled all-nighters helping her with a report and to work at Grad Nite. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Allyson. I have probably bored you to tears with my stories of her, but I can’t help myself. She & Jim are the loves of my life!

I recently watched a TV special called “The Council of Dads” that was about a father of twin girls who thought he might die from a rare form of bone cancer. Fortunately God is so good and he is still cancer free after having major surgery on his left femur. When he thought he might die, he got together a group of male friends who agreed to be “his voice” in the future and be there for his girls. It really made me think how lucky I am to be a member of the church I am a member of. I am surrounded by a “Council of Moms and Dads”. I have had the fortune of working with young people for the past 8+ years and being able to be there for kids, dispense advice when asked, etc. But I also have been fortunate to have people there for me when I have struggled, suffered through miscarriage and infertility issues, missed my parents when they moved out of state and have forgiven me when I messed up. I have godly married couples who have encouraged me in my marriage and people who celebrate with me when things are good. I know that if something ever happens to me or to my husband, I have numerous people who will be there to step in and love on my family.

Children are a gift from God. Love on your kids; invest your time wisely by investing in them. “I want to leave a legacy, how will they remember me…”

Being Good Stewards

I don't understand why it seems so many Christians find it so easy to make fun of environmentalists or animal lovers. I of course love humanity more than animals and trees...but I think Christians need to strike a better balance of the 3. Yes, God gave us dominion over animals, so I am a meat eater and love a great steak or piece of greasy fried chicken. However, does that mean I turn a blind eye to companies who are inhumane to the animals they process for food? No. There is no need for the animals to be tortured or kicked or hobbled. That breaks my heart. When I eat meat I think of the fact that the animals life was sacrificed for my sustenance. I give thanks to God for it.

God also created this beautiful place called earth. I am a huge nature lover. I love the ocean, lakes, waterfalls, big grassy meadows, mountains covered with wildflowers, hiking trails, etc. I believe we need to be good stewards of our environment. Is it really such a hardship to Reduce, Reuse, Recycle?

I am so not a label concsious person. I could care less if it's a name brand item. I care if it is made well and a good value. I would be a terrible rich person because there is just no way I could justify spending hundreds of dollars on a pair of jeans or the thousands some celebrities spend on a purse! I think of what good that money could do for others. I love my $22.00 jeans! I love my $30 purse! I love when I have the time to head to Goodwill or Keepers and spend hours scouring the racks & shelves. I love finding something that fits and is in like new condition and sometimes with the tags still on it. I have no problem with secondhand clothing. I have always been able to find things in good condition. I love when I find something at Goodwill that I saw for full price in the store, but didn't buy. By buying it at Goodwill I only paid a few bucks for it! I buy used books, decorative items, etc. as well.

Now that I have learned to sew, I have quit just giving the old clothing of my family members to Goodwill. I go through our cast off's first and save the buttons or fabric if it's in good shape. I love making something 'new' from something old. I have a wreath on my door made from scraps of sewing projects. I even sewed scraps together to jazz up my $1.00 flip flops! You can make pillowcases, grocery bags so you don't use the plastic bags, headbands, etc. from cast off clothing. Be creative!

I just don't think the economy is going to turn around any time soon, so people need to start being more thrifty and resourceful. In the past with bad downturns in the economy we had "the next big thing" come out to help bring money back in. Stock market crash of the 20's...car manufacturing & industrialization. After WWII, home manufacturing & furniture boomed. The late 70's & early 80's...computers. The 90's...internet, technology, cell phones. So...what's the next big thing? I'm sure some brilliant minds are working on it, but until then and even after, I will keep sewing and making my own aprons, skirts, quilts, jewelry, etc. I will learn to can food and shop at Goodwill!

Time With The Girls

I have always felt more comfortable being "one of the guys", but I have always had girls who were friends in school, girls I hung out with and had slumber parties with, etc. However, I had Allyson so young that at 19 when I was married and raising a child, my girlfriends were away at college or partying and doing what typical 19 year olds do. I was working at a medical research facility for the first year of Allyson's life and for the past 16+ I have worked for Treasury. So again, I have had responsibilities, an unfortunate divorce and spent my days as a single Mom working full time.

I admit I didn't do much to work at maintaining friendships with my girlfriends from school. I felt like we were in two different worlds. I wasn't partying, drinking, smoking, etc. I was raising a child and discovering what it meant to "BE" a Christian and not just show up on Sunday and call myself a Christian. Plus, the one girl I considered by best friend ended up with Allyson's dad. That kind of turned me off of trusting female friends for a long while.

My (now) husband Jim was the only constant. We have been friends since the late 80's. So he has always been there for me through all the stupid stuff I did in high school, getting married to Allyson's Dad so young due to pregnancy, my divorce, listening to my dating horror stories after my divorce. Fortunately our friendship grew into a deep love and I am now married to my best friend and the love of my life.

I admit I sometimes wish I had a group of women friends I could have "chick nights" with. I have some wonderful women friends at church and a Christian co-worker I can confide in. But I just don't seem to get out much with just a great group of women. I am craving a good women's Bible study. Unfortunately most of the women's events at my church involve much older women and consumption of copious amounts of tea...not my thing. This past Saturday I attended a scrapbooking day at church and spent a whole morning/afternoon with some fabulous women and NO TEA!!! I hope we do it more often. I enjoyed the fun & fellowship and "chick" time.

A Change Will Do Me Good

Allow me to ask a question. I hope you’ll give the answer serious thought.

Is there anything in your life right now that you’d like to change or have different?

Perhaps you are seeking an answer? Or maybe forgiveness? Or are you holding onto forgiveness that needs to be extended? Maybe you are trying to win the battle with an addiction. Maybe you are trying to reach a difficult goal. Maybe you are seeking greater joy or peace or harmony within your home, family, or self. Maybe you are making big life decisions and are wondering which path to take. Maybe you want to pursue a different profession. Or maybe you are trying to overcome a fear. Perhaps you would like more good friends. Maybe you are wondering when the ache in your heart will finally dull and go away. Maybe you are wondering when the tears will stop. Maybe you are in a relationship that needs healing. Maybe illness and fatigue are currently a part of your daily life. Maybe you are seeking a certain blessing to come your way. The list of changes we each might like to see in our lives is endless.

I sat down to write my “Bucket List” recently. I’d been thinking about putting together my list for a while, and there were lots of things about my life that I wanted to be different. But when I sat down to write the list, there was only one thing that really stood out to me. I had examined my life much in the preceding months and I had come to the conclusion that I wasn’t who I wanted to be. I wondered where the bright-eyed, idealistic young woman had gone, along with all the plans and goals and ways I was going to change the world. I couldn’t see the perfect-faith-filled woman anymore. By no means had I become a horrible person, but I wasn’t who I had been in years past, and I hadn’t become who I thought I would once I “became a grown up.” Life had happened. I have a real job with real stress and heavy demands. I’d accumulated bills and responsibilities and “busyness”. And the busier I got, the less I seemed like me. And it seemed like the farther I got from “me,” the farther I got from heaven too.

From now on, I will know the Savior better.

I need to put a dedicated emphasis on that goal. I need to re-implement habits like daily scripture reading, regular prayer, and reading the lessons for each Sunday. The intensity of the Spirit isn’t permeating my life like it had just a few years before. And so – it is time to clean out the cobwebs. I need to identify things that had crept into my life which are making it difficult for me to always have the Spirit – things like sins, weaknesses, imperfections, grudges and my infertility issues. I need to offer them up to heaven with the humblest heart I think I’ve ever had. I am so saddened by the weeds I have let overtake my heart.

I think I have known I needed change for a long time, but when I’m honest about why I haven’t do it sooner, it was because I was scared – scared to give the Lord this tattered, broken life. I was afraid piecing it back together would hurt beyond what I could bear. And I think I was also ashamed. He’s the perfect God of the universe. How could I ask the Lord to fix me, change me, remake me? How could I offer Him anything less than perfection? And so for a long while I have tried to rid my life of the busyness and weaknesses on my own, while trying to add back in the joy, service, and dedication – again, on my own. But I can’t do it on my own anymore. And I don’t know that I’ve ever wanted to know the Savior more. It’s never mattered more. And I think that’s because I’ve never been more acutely aware of my need for Him. And I told the Lord so. I will do whatever it takes. I don’t care how badly it hurts or how long it will take. I want my life to be different. And I will do whatever He asks.

Now, anyone who knows me must know that I have always been my own worst critic. And, though I would never allow another person to believe this about themselves, I’ve always thought that I needed to do more, work harder, run faster in order to receive the blessing or find forgiveness. I think many of us feel this way simply because we’re so much more aware of our own imperfections. We tend to be hardest on ourselves.

In fact, I’ve often been known to say in prayer, “I haven’t suffered enough for this. If you need to punish me a bit more, I understand.” Or I’ll think to myself, “I need to do this and this and this and this, before I ask for help because certainly I can’t kneel before God if I haven’t read my scriptures, served my neighbor, etc.” And what I find I need to do is just to remember that I need to slow down and kneel at His feet and be quiet.

When we are burdened, it is He who says, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and You will find rest for your souls. "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:29-30)

When we wonder which direction to go or choice to make, it is He who says, “Trust in Me with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Me, and I will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
When our world swirls around us, it is he who “arises, and rebukes the winds and the sea; until there is calm” (Matt 8:26).

When we want, it is He who says, “Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you” (Matt. 6:7).

When we feel condemned and ashamed, it is He who says, “Neither do I condemn you, go from now on and sin no more.” (John 8:11).

When we hunger, it is He who says, “I am the bread of life” (John 6:48).

When we thirst, it is He who says, “but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life." (John 4:14).

When we don’t know the way, it is He who says, “I am the way.” (John 14:6).

The Desire of My Heart...

I am now 10 days late for that "time of the month". I really tried hard not to let that get to me. But last night was day 9...so I went out and bought a pregnancy test kit. 9 days is quite some time to be late. So I went home & did my thing on the stick...NOPE.

Okay God, what's the deal? I know You have a plan and a purpose for my life, and I know You also know the desires of my heart. I just wish so much that Your plans were a little closer to my plans. The Bible says You have plans for me to prosper, plans for good, which isn't a guarantee on being able to "be fruitful and multiply".

I really hate the frustration of being late and wondering if this is the time that being late means I am pregnant. My heart aches. My soul cries out to You Lord.